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05/12/06
Summary of Impressions
Filed under: ~~ English
Posted by: T. Bevin @ 1:02 pm
This is another email from my young American friend who spent several months in Havana.
 
Okay, so I am back in the states. Almost a week that I am back already. It is hard to believe. And while most of you are probably relieved not to be receiving any more of my long emails, I do want to offer a few more comments before signing off. This afternoon I went to lunch with a good friend and she asked me a couple of questions that, although simple enough, kind of caused me to think for a while. Below is what I have come up with:

She asked me, having lived in Cuba and having some personal experience with it, what did I think about Fidel’s socialist system?
 

Hmm. Good question. What do I think? Well, I don’t know how it was in the sixties when he first took over and I don’t know how it is for everyone now even. I know what I saw and experienced and I know the quality of life my friends live. So what do I think? I think it is a joke, an insult, una galleta fuerte en la cara…and maybe some other things that would require uglier language. I think it is openly hypocritical, dangerously failing, and if I had been raised within that system, knowing my nature and personality, I would have clashed strongly. I don’t know. I just know that I am very grateful that I was born here and not there. What do I think about the system? Ha. I am sitting here thinking and remembering a conversation with my friend’s mom in which she explained to me that the best thing that you can be is mediocre. Don’t be the best or the worst; because then you are marcado. It is always safest in the middle. That idea upsets me so much. What a terrible aspiration. I want to be me: do what I want to do, achieve the goals that I set out for myself, follow my own path: and none of that is possible in  Cuba.

As part of my project I talked with university students about the future and their hopes and aspirations and the truth is that there is no future. I mean, yeah there is a future and my friends are amazing individuals so I know that in the end they will find their own way, but in truth, in Cuba you are always dangling at the end of his string.  You live your life and for the most part things are okay but he always has his hands around your cojones (which I would imagine is less than comfortable) and there is always that fear that he might squeeze at any moment. All of this- I refer to the sacrifices, the inane rules, the infinite no hay and no se puede (there isn’t any and you can’t)- so that Cuba can advance together, as a united people. Okay, it is a beautiful idea and I don’t fault that, but that isn’t what he is trying to do: he isn’t sincerely trying to help his people. He loves Cuba, but he loves her the way that an abusive husbands “loves” his wife– and that isn’t love. I don’t know if it was always this way, but since the fall of the Soviet Union and his desperate attempt to save the country from an admittedly dire situation, he has sold out his country and his people.

 
Do you know who have the least amount of rights in Cuba? Cubans. And they know it.  Don’t tell me that things are the way they are because we are making sacrifices so that the whole nation can advance together while you offer the best and the brightest to foreigners. Don’t tell me that I can’t buy beef because the herd is too small when I know that every fancy hotel in Havana serves sirloin to its foreign clientele. Don’t tell me that this is a revolution of the humilde and for the humilde while you sell your soul to Venezuela and any other country that will fill your belly and your gas tank. Okay, so things are a lot more complicated than that. But when you ask me what I think of the system, and I see that the worst thing you can be is honest and hardworking and plan for the future and be ambitious, what do you think that I am going to say? Because the truth is that NO vamos bien.
 
So the other question was, why do you want to go back? Because I do want to go back. I don’t know how or when, but one day I will return, si dios quiere.
 
The answer to this one is harder to explain. In spite of everything, I felt good in Cuba. Granted, I am naïve, but don’t think that I am so naïve as not to recognize that living somewhere for four months is quite different from living their your whole life and from being from that place. As much as I tried to integrate myself into a “normal” Cuban life, I was always an American in Cuba and I will never understand completely nor even remotely what it is really like to be a Cuban in Cuba. So when I say that I want to go back, I say so from a position of privilege, because I will always be an American in Cuba, and while there are many things in which I can share with my friends, I will always have the advantage of everything that has been instilled upon me from my family and culture- which I cherish more and more with every trip abroad- and I will always have the ability to leave- which in Cuba is huge. But I do want to go back one day.
 
Like I said, I don’t know when or how, but I am hopeful that one day our countries will have improved relations, and one day I will be able to go back. I miss the weather; I miss the Spanish; I miss my friends; I miss how even the simple was an adventure, how everything was absurd, and how in the end, everything was worth a good laugh.

One Response to “Summary of Impressions”

  1. Oscar Ramirez Says:
    May 14th, 2006 at 2:27 pm New Engaging Book on Camagüey Cuba Celebrates Life! CUBA, I REMEMBER YOU/CUBA, TE RECUERDO By OSCAR M. RAMÍREZ-ORBEA, PH.D. **Cuba, I Remember You is a book about family, love, relationships, and survival in difficult circumstances that all readers will find to be a wonderful reading experience. Bettie Corbin Tucker For IP Book Reviewers Independent Professional Reviewers See more about the book at: http://cubairememberyou.zoomshare.com/ CUBA, I REMEMBER YOU/CUBA, TE RECUERDO By OSCAR M. RAMÍREZ-ORBEA, PH.D. A collection of 14 short stories, all in Spanish and English, based on the author’s experiences of childhood before and after the Communist revolution. Includes Appendix for educators wishing to use the book in Spanish or English foreign language classes. Lots of nostalgia for those who knew Cuba in the 50’s and 60’s and plenty of humor for readers in general. Includes also many period family photographs that illustrate the stories and bring them vividly to life! About the Author Dr. Oscar M. Ramírez-Orbea, was born in Camagüey, Cuba, in 1955. He emigrated with his family to the US in 1966, after completing elementary school in his home country. He longs one day to return to his native city of Camagüey and to all the fond memories it holds for him. CUBA, I REMEMBER YOU/CUBA, TE RECUERDO is Dr. Ramírez’s first narrative work. More Available now from Airleaf Publishing (www.airleaf.com) or call today to order your copy at 1-800-342–6068.

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